\u201cThree easy questions,\u201d the hand-written sign said, \u201cto save your soul.\u201d\u00c2\u00a0 Being soul-threatened, as horror writers are wont to be, Brian and I skipped the carnival booths offering chances to win cheap stuffed bears and a hundred variations of the same lamp and stale funnel cakes made fresh.\u00c2\u00a0 We went straight to the soul saving folk, and waited patiently for someone, anyone, to offer to save our souls.<\/p>\n
No one did.\u00c2\u00a0 They busied themselves asking questions of other intrepid carnival-goers.\u00c2\u00a0 They chatted amongst themselves and stared at the small Ferris Wheel at the other end of the carnival.\u00c2\u00a0 They looked to the left of us, and to the right of us, and even over our heads.<\/p>\n
We refused to disappear.<\/p>\n
Brian and I had to get pro-active.\u00c2\u00a0 We stepped closer and flanked one of the poor kids.\u00c2\u00a0 Brian asked, \u201cAren\u2019t you going to save our souls?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course, of course,\u201d the kid said.\u00c2\u00a0 He looked nervous.\u00c2\u00a0 He looked at Brian, really looked at him, and managed to open his mouth but couldn\u2019t say anything.\u00c2\u00a0 Finally, he turned to me.\u00c2\u00a0 \u201cIs that really Brian Keene<\/a>?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you…you\u2019re John Urbancik?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI am.\u201d<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t seem to know what else to ask.\u00c2\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure how he knew who we were, but this was his time to ask questions, not mine.\u00c2\u00a0 However, I kept his gaze.\u00c2\u00a0 On the other side of him, Brian grinned.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd, uh, are you willing to repent your wicked ways and join our church?\u201d\u00c2\u00a0 He held out a pamphlet, with the church\u2019s name printed boldly upon it, and I was only a little surprised.\u00c2\u00a0 I took the pamphlet, which tingled in my hands, but didn\u2019t actually answer the question.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you,\u201d the kid said, turning on Brian and offering another pamphlet.\u00c2\u00a0 \u201cWould you repent?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI might,\u201d Brian said, looking at the pamphlet and frowning.\u00c2\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve got a question for you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d the kid said.\u00c2\u00a0 \u201cNot until I\u2019ve asked my three.\u00c2\u00a0 Then, if you\u2019ve still got anything to say…\u201d\u00c2\u00a0 He trailed off from that thought and went immediately into the second question.\u00c2\u00a0 \u201cDo you accept him as your lord and savior?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou can\u2019t…\u201d \u201cObviously, yes,\u201d Brian said.\u00c2\u00a0 \u201cBut you can\u2019t do this.\u201d\u00c2\u00a0 He waved the pamphlet.<\/p>\n \u201cWe who serve,\u201d the kid told him, \u201care not bound by the rules of man.\u00c2\u00a0 I have to ask again, do you repent?\u201d<\/p>\n Still frowning, Brian said, \u201cYeah, sure.\u201d<\/p>\n The lad turned to me, winked conspiratorially, as if I\u2019d arranged for the whole thing, then shoved a knife into Brian\u2019s gut.<\/p>\n Two of the other questioners were suddenly behind Brian, and put their knifes into his kidneys from behind.\u00c2\u00a0 A third had a genuine copy of the Daemonolateria, which is a lot rarer than you might think, and was reading from it.<\/p>\n When I tried to move, to aid, to fight, whatever might\u2019ve been in my head, I found myself held back by no less than four of other worshippers.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, then,\u201d the kid said, using the blade again to open Brian\u2019s throat from ear to ear, \u201cwe have the only fit and proper receptacle for our master.\u201d<\/p>\n Brian dropped to his knees, still clutching the Church of Ob pamphlet.\u00c2\u00a0 They held him there, not letting him fall any further.\u00c2\u00a0 The kid bent and whispered in his ear–I barely heard it.\u00c2\u00a0 He said, \u201cWelcome back, Master.\u201d<\/p>\n Then, for a brief moment, Brian Keene was dead.\u00c2\u00a0 His eyes rolled back, his head lolled to the side, the blood stopped spurting and merely oozed.\u00c2\u00a0 Then his eyes opened again and he was someone else entirely.<\/p>\n ~~~<\/p>\n We (I’m not the only one killing Keene today) are doing this to help raise awareness and money for the Shirley Jackson Awards<\/a>.\u00c2\u00a0 Go, and make a donation!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cThree easy questions,\u201d the hand-written sign said, \u201cto save your soul.\u201d\u00c2\u00a0 Being soul-threatened, as horror writers are wont to be, Brian and I skipped the […]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6,1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.darkfluidity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/433"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.darkfluidity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.darkfluidity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.darkfluidity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.darkfluidity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=433"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.darkfluidity.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/433\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.darkfluidity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=433"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.darkfluidity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=433"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.darkfluidity.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=433"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n\u201cIt\u2019s a yes or no question,\u201d the kid said.<\/p>\n